Reflections on the final weeks of pregnancy

I've only been a mom for nine months.  No, I like to believe I was a mom from the day I knew I was pregnant.  So I've been a mom for well over a year now.  That's so strange to me.  Looking back, there are things I wish could have transpired differently, but overall I'm just grateful for the amazing learning experience motherhood has been so far.  I look forward to what I learn during the rest of my life.

i have a good friend who is giving birth in a few weeks.  I know a lot of women my age who are going to be holding their newborns very soon.  It feels like a lifetime ago that this happened for me.  I feel like I'm reliving my moments when I speak to my friend about her daily thoughts during the last weeks of her pregnancy.

This discussion led me to want to write something about my own story.





It's probably similar to most expecting mothers' stories.  I guess I'm mainly writing this for myself to look back on so I don't forget.  Being a new mom is tough, and sometimes it's frustrating because there are those "experienced" moms who try to invalidate or minimize the concerns of a new mom.  I had mostly supportive people around me, but I can remember the ones who tried and actually still try to say, "oh it's because this is your first baby." I like to believe that sure, I'm more cautious because this is my first born, but also I'm learning what to do and what not to do for the rest of my kids.  I don't like when others make me feel like I don't know anything because I only have one baby.

Ok, let's change this to a more positive note.  Let me alter that thought.  My experiences have been challenging, positive, negative, happy, sad, and any other extremes that exist.  Overall though, they've been rewarding because they've all been educating.

The Final Weeks of Pregnancy

Everything was uncomfortable and everything was emotional.  I laughed, cried, screamed, worried, etc.  I was ridiculously uncomfortable and so ready to get the baby out! I want to tell myself at 38 weeks pregnant that in fact, everything will be okay.  I mean I worried about the smallest issues, but that's normal.  I want everyone to know it is normal.  I thought I was going to die during labor in 2012. Haha. All my fears diminished once I held my son in my arms.  I mean sure, I was scared, but the anxiety about labor faded, and being a mom felt natural.

Labor and Delivery

This is absolutely no walk in the park.  I have a high threshold for pain, so I felt like my contractions weren't real.  I waited six hours before going to the hospital and even when I walked in I had a strong feeling I would be sent home.  Well, I wasn't.  Panic set in.  I wanted nothing more than to run out (as fast  as a pregnant lady could) and drive right back home.  However, that would have been a sight considering I was doubling over with pain by the time I got into my hospital room.

Now, for anyone who didn't already know, it's not as easy and quick as it is in the shows, like 16 & pregnant.  I was in labor for 18 hours.  Even though that may be common with first timers, I like to tell myself my labor slowed down immensely because I got an epidural.  I had my heart set on the epidural since the beginning.  However, all I can say for you expecting moms to be is just don't be so set in your ways during labor.  Your body may need something different from what you have planned.  At the end of the day, all that matters is that you have your beautiful healthy baby in your hands.

I wish I ate before I went to the hospital.  It slipped my mind that all I could have were freaking ice chips for 18 hours.  I dreamt of food.  I salivated when I watched Big C return from eating his gourmet meal of a hospital burger and cold fries.  I know that contractions are not fun, but EAT SOMETHING ANYTHING AND/OR EVERYTHING before you go in because it may seem like you haven't eaten for a month once you're done delivering.

Maybe it's because I didn't go to any educational classes, but I was extremely hysterical and upset (very big understatement) to learn that pushing could take up to two hours.  WHAT?! I looked my nurse straight in the eyes and told her in my most educated voice, "Um, in 16 & Pregnant, the girls push for two minutes." Seriously, what is my affinity with this show? To my dismay, my nurse wasn't exaggerating.  I don't know anything about C-Sections, so sorry ladies, but pushing is the most mind boggling way to view time.  It was the longest and fastest moment of my life.  I pushed for about 40 minutes.  Even with the epidural, it was uncomfortable.  I did feel like giving up because I was so tired and hungry, but I had an amazing nurse and Big C by my side.  Oh, and I had an end goal, besides meeting my little guy.  That is probably the best advice I could give.  Have something you really want right after delivery that may motivate you.  Sure, duh, having the baby out already, wanting to stop the pain, blah blah blah, but that wasn't enough for me.  I had dealt with discomfort for nine months, so I felt invincible.  And, I felt THIRSTY.  I requested some nice cold apple juice and hell, did I push for that juice.  Let me tell you, it was delicious!!

After I held my newborn son for a few minutes, he was taken to be weighed and measured and all that fun stuff.  To be honest, I don't remember much after that.  My doctor held up my placenta and stroked it.  That's all I can really recall.  I felt drunk.  I was exhausted.  And sleepy.  And elated.  But mainly loopy.  I felt guilt about having fuzzy memories for that period of time, but looking back, I pat myself on the back for just surviving child birth.



Ok.  I wasn't expecting to write a novel.  This is where I will end my blabbing.  If you think I'm weird after reading this, then you have assessed me pretty accurately.  Despite my weird descriptions of everything, giving birth is probably the best moment of my life.  So I hope you can hold on to that excitement and possibly calm your nerves down some when you think that your'e about to experience one of the, if not the only, best moments of your life.

Until next time.